Day Four: The Refiner’s Fire
Now some of you may be more ready to go through this journey than I am; not much fire needed. You have limited impurities that are easily burned away. I tease my husband that our wait has been so long because God sees I need a ton of work and that is why we have waited for years.
Friends, the Refiner’s fire is very real and very hot. I have squirmed, and fought, have been generally hard to get along with during parts of it. At one point I would swear I could hear a hammer as it was beating on me, and now that I can see results, I am absolutely glad that He loves me enough to help me more like Him. Generally speaking a fire is hot, uncomfortably so that if you are close to it, and it not well managed, it is very dangerous to those near it. God does not allow His refiner’s fire to consume us, but rather burn off the impurities that we possess. He watches us closely during the process, making sure the heat is enough to produce results, but not so hot that we are injured. He seeks to make us more like Him, to refine us to what we need to be to fulfill His purpose. Remember that He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us hope and a future.
One of my many impurities is my absolute self-reliance. I hate admitting I need help. I strongly dislike taking help from others. I can do it ALL. I’ll figure it out. Yep, I was the one who just wanted to do the whole group project by myself in school just so I didn’t have to depend on anyone else. The one who literally cannot say no and will juggle everything at the same time.
I am very sure that God designed my husband specifically for me. He has lovingly pointed out on multiple occasions that I cannot do everything on my own and that the journey of adoption and having children is very public and most certainly not private.
When our child does not look like either of us, it is public statement that we chose adoption. When you have to ask for prayer for yet another roadblock that has come up on the journey, that is public knowledge.
We have been very blessed to have an amazing support network of family and friends who seek the face of God for us everyday. In my self-reliance, I did not take this into account initially. I thought if I alone prayed about it enough, it would be fine. I didn’t need to involve anyone else, I didn’t want to bother them.
Then came the fire. The fire of illness, of unexpected trials, of alterations in my plans, negative words from well meaning people, and hateful words from not so well meaning people. I turned while in the midst of the fire so weak and needy, to realize my King was standing there ready to catch me so I wouldn’t fall into the flames.
Lean in friends, weak and needy, He is there.
Verses of the Day:
You rejoice in this, though now for a short time you have had to struggle in various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith- more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire- may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:7 (HCSB)
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 (HCSB).